Posted on

Rhythms of Rest – Review

I received this book free for purposes of my review. All opinions are my own.

Rhythms of Rest by Shelly Miller – Finding the Spirit of Sabbath in a Busy World.

Are you tired? I know as a mom with young children, I am. And not just physically tired. I’m mentally exhausted from all the constant decision making I have to make, from having to be constantly “on” to keep up with the kids, and from the constant churn to keep up with life.

With 3 kids, homeschooling, and being small business owners, I and my husband are constantly busy.

I feel bad taking a break because there’s always more work to be done. This book, Rhythms of Rest, helps put all of that into perspective for me. Shelly Miller does a great job of explaining why we need rest or sabbath and how we can achieve that. From just being present at dinner with the family to actually taking that Sabbath or day of rest once a week and not feeling guilty about it.

It’s not just about taking a physical break from work, but also a mental break, and an emotional break. To just rest. The author encourages you to plan for your sabbath. It’s so hard to actually take a break if you don’t plan for it. Whether that’s doing more laundry on Saturday so there isn’t any on Sunday or just prioritizing my to-do list and knowing what can wait till Monday.

This book has been super helpful in just encouraging me to prepare for a day of rest and just realizing that I desperately need that day of rest and not feeling guilty about taking it. Because, trust me, that Mommy guilt thing is real, and it seriously keeps me from taking a break when I need it!

So, if you feel like you’re just slogging through parenting, don’t have time for yourself, and you’re just tired. Get this book and learn how to better utilize rest and don’t feel guilty about taking time for Sabbath.

.: This post does contain affiliate Links :.

Posted on

Rest

Rest, as a Mother, it’s one of those things I always need but can never seem to get.Really, it wasn’t that bad till my third child came along and now I just can’t seem to get a break. I’m constantly on, constantly alert to what the kids are doing, and constantly just trying to keep up.

This Sunday at Church our class was about resting in God and everyone was talking about how they find their place of rest, or their quiet place. Now for some people, that’s just simply finding time for Bible study. For me, being slightly introverted, it means that sometimes, I just need quiet and alone. Do you know how hard quiet and alone is to get with 3 young children? Yep, really hard!

It’s a constant struggle to find that quiet, with 3 young kids, homeschooling my oldest, freelancing from home, and just keeping up with friends, family, kids activities, and other events. Quiet is hard to come by.

First I had to overcome feeling guilty about giving myself some quiet time away from everyone, and I had to give myself permission to just rest, relax, and unwind every so often (that means no cleaning, no working). Some weeks it just works out, the kids go to bed and I get a few hours to myself, other weeks I’m just desperate for quiet time so I put the baby down for his nap and send the girls to their room to play quietly. They have to play with the door shut until I come and get them. Usually, a little over an hour.

The first time I did this I felt bad about shutting them in their room for an hour, but really, after an hour of quiet I felt so much better and was able to get so much more done and engage with my kids so much better that I no longer hesitate when I need some space. I’ve done it enough times, they know the rules. They don’t have to take a nap, they just have to play quietly and get along for an hour. And, usually, when I come get them, they are so busy playing I just poke my head in, tell them they’re allowed to come out now, they say ok, I close the door, and they appear an hour or so later.

Second, I had to learn to be ok with not getting everything done. It’s ok that the kitchen isn’t always clean, the laundry isn’t always done, and my floor looks like a toy factory.

Third, I’m learning the importance of teaching my kids to do things for themselves. My oldest is 5 so there’s obviously a limit to what I can expect the kids to do but we do require that the girls pick up their room every night, and that they take their plates and put them on the counter after dinner. The 5yr old is responsible for feeding the fish every morning. I’m working on teaching them to consistently put away their pjs when they get dressed in the morning, and hang their coats up when they come in the door. Every little bit helps and it’s important for children to learn to be responsible for helping around the house.

And lastly, I’m learning that when I’m taking my time to rest, I need to actually rest. If I’m tired, I need to nap, if I need to think, I need to sit quietly and process through decisions that need to be made, whatever my goal is for my quiet time, I need to focus on it while I have the chance. And there are those days that it just doesn’t work for me, the baby is cranky, the girls argue, or my phone just won’t quit ringing. Those days, I just know when it’s time to give up and I’ll give rest another try when I get the chance.

Posted on

Sleep

So, what is the definition of a good night’s sleep? Seems like it changes every few years. I was reading an old health book the other day and it said 12 hrs a night was needed for an adult. I thought it was 8? And is 8 hours of interrupted sleep enough or does it have to be uninterrupted. As the mother of an infant, I’m definitely getting interrupted. What I considered a good night’s sleep before kids is way different than what I consider a good night now.

Someone posted an article the other day on how nursing a baby at night is so good for your baby. That’s nice, but how about some sleep for me? (actually, I sleep while I nurse at night). I saw this awesome nursing timer for using in the middle of the night, it lets you know when it’s time to switch sides so you know how long the baby’s been eating. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up over an hour after I started nursing and found the baby sound asleep in my lap. (no worries, I know this happens so I make sure my arm is well supported with a pillow and the baby can’t go anywhere when I fall asleep)

The advice to “sleep when your baby sleeps” is great advice, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that with two other little kids as well. I’ve tried it, and the house turns into a disaster zone while I’m snoozing. Or, better yet, they decide to join me in bed. I’m remarkably good at sleeping through things like i-pad games, dvds, and spilled beverages. (in the days before kids I also slept through tornado alarms, fire alarms, alarm clocks, and who knows what else).

So, what is a good night’s sleep? For me these days, it’s getting at least 8 hours and only getting interrupted once. And somehow, my day seems normal after a night like that. Even having to get up twice to take care of kids in the middle of the night isn’t too bad…

I compare this to my days before kids when I was getting 9 to 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep and if something woke me up I was so tired and grumpy the next day.

I remember as a teenager calling my mom in the middle of the night (1 am, 2 am, something like that) and talking for over an hour because I’d just had a really bad day. For some reason, mom never seemed to mind. I never understood, how was she not totally irritated that I’d woken her up?

As a mother with 3 little ones I finally understand, if my kids need me, I’m there for them. It’s ok that it takes me 3 cups of coffee to wake up in the morning. I still prefer my full night sleep, and 1 cup of coffee in the morning. But I know, there’s just those days when I’m needed, and when I need to be there, I’ll be available. And the truth is, I really don’t mind. (like these last couple of nights when the baby is teething, or last week when the girls were up sick, I know they need me and it’s all ok).