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Friendships

Friendships, now that’s a topic my husband and I have spent lots of time discussing.

Here’s my thing with friendships. I tend to make them easily, and I have lots of friends. I love friends! But I have no really close friends. And when friends move to a different state or when I move, the friendships pretty much end and I start all over. I’m still in touch with some old friends through Facebook, but without Facebook we honestly would probably never hear from each other again.

I have friends I can call for help, friends I can set up playdates with, even friends who would watch my kids if I asked, but no friend that I would just call to vent to if I was having a bad day. No really close friend who knows all about me.

Before you start thinking that I have no one to talk to, I have 5 sisters. So, I can always call one of them. And I have several sister-in-laws that I can call. And even my own mom or my mother-in-law are great people to talk to. Do, I call and just vent, or cry? To be honest, I think I was a teenager last time I did. Not that my life is perfect. But who really wants to know about my horrible, awful day?

So, maybe it’s because I’m surrounded by so much family, I don’t actually need a separate close friend. Or maybe I’m just afraid of anyone getting too close. Honestly, it’s hard to say. Maybe it’s because I’m not good at sharing my feelings? Or maybe I’m just looking for something that doesn’t exist. Or, maybe I just don’t need a close friend right now?

Who knows? At this point, I’ve given up on trying for a really close friend and I’ve decided to just enjoy the friendships that I have.

I have friends in my homeschool group. We chat about life and all sorts of homeschool questions and topics. I have friends at church. Friends because my husband is friends with their spouse. And now that my husband is a small business owner I’m even starting to make some great friendships with some of the other small business owner’s spouses. Basically, I’m surrounded by plenty of friends. And I think that I should enjoy those friendships to the fullest and not worry about this elusive “best friend” that I’ll never be able to find or keep. That’s been my goal the past few years, and I’m quite happy with the friendships that I have.

I would say that my biggest challenge with friendships is I tend to keep my personal feelings hidden which makes it hard for others to get to really know me. So friendships take a long time to develop.

I want to know, what is your biggest challenge with friendships? Or, what is your best piece of friendship advice? Tell me in the comments below 🙂

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This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. #BloggersTalkingAbout Friendship by Joanne, Friendships by Jenny, The Importance Of A Chosen Family by Nicole and Why You Need an Accountability Buddy by Alicia. If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers.

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F is for Friends

One thing I’ve never understood is why homeschooling gets a bad rap for socialization. I think for my generation (when I was a kid) this was a big concern for people. And I’m happy to see that as much less of a concern for my kids. I almost never get asked “do your kids have friends?”. And I remember my mom being asked that many, many times. Or maybe it’s just the “bubble” that I’m in. I know a LOT of homeschoolers these days!

Or maybe no one asks me about my kids socialization because my kids are doing all the talking. They like to talk. To everyone.

So, how do my kids make friends? Well, first of all I live in a city that I would describe as very homeschool friendly. You either homeschool, or many of your friends homeschool. Because there are so many homeschoolers, my kids have lots of friends (both homeschooled and non-homeschooled) and no one expected kids to act different based on where they’re going to school.

Church – We live in the Bible Belt and while religion is an integral part of our lives, Church is also a major socialization group in this area of the country. It’s totally normal and acceptable for people to attend one church and participate in activities (such as preschool, AWANA, women’s groups, sports, etc. in another church). And there are a lot of Churches that host a lot of different events. So, not only do my kids get to see their friends Sundays, they’re also meeting other kids during the week.

Homeschool Groups – And there are lots of these in my town. There are groups that meet just for parental support. Groups for kids classes. Educational groups. Facebook groups – used for forming your own sub-groups for activities and such. You name it, there’s probably a homeschool group for it. We’re in a Classical Conversations group so my kids see the same group of kids on a weekly basis.

My Friends – No surprises here, but my friends have kids around my kid’s ages. So, playdates, museum trips, etc. are a fun way to catch up and let the kids have fun.

Extras – And then there’s the extracurricular activities like dance and sports. It’s not uncommon to keep running into the same people at these activities. My kids have friends that they know from church, dance, and the museum class. We just keep running into them. It’s always fun to sit with someone that you already know.

My kids have lots of friends. And because I also know most of their friends parents, we get to hang out and have fun with friends way more than we would if my children were not homeschooled.

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Busy Busy Summer

So, my plans for the summer? They revolved around hanging out at the water park with the kids, teaching the girls to swim, working out more at the gym, and having some free time to get some stuff done around the house or just hang out with the kids. Oh, and hopefully some playdates with friends.

At this point in my summer I feel like I’m trying to accomplish all of that plus a whole bunch of unplanned work. Don’t get me wrong, work means I’m getting paid, which means I’m saving more money for that new, larger house that I want (or I think I want, I’m not sure I want to CLEAN a larger house), but I’m trying to do all of that plus all the summer stuff I had planned.

And if my summer wasn’t busy enough already, my oldest is participating in a pagent in a few weeks and I still haven’t cut out the dress I’m going to make her for it. I did actually bring the pattern, fabric, and pins up to the counter today so I can cut them so I’m optimistic that it’ll get cut out sometime this week. And I’m taking an extra music class.

So, last week: Monday was a filling at the dentist (exciting, I know) and running errands that just couldn’t wait any longer, Tuesday was music lessons and a meal exchange with friends, Wednesday was a playdate with a friend and VBS, Thursday was the water park and I took a meal to a friend who just had a baby, Friday was the mall and VBS, Saturday was projects around the house and other projects, Sunday was church and more projects(I try really hard not to work on Sunday but there’s wasn’t an option this week), Monday playdate with a friend and delivering a baby meal, Tuesday errands and music lessons,…you get the idea

It’s to the point where if we aren’t going anywhere for the day my 1yr old expresses his boredom sometime around 10am., and the girls are out of things to do by noon. Talk about a crazy busy summer! It’s almost 9:00 and I’m just now thinking about putting the kids in bed. Maybe I’ll take a shower and then get some more work done before I go to bed…or maybe I’ll put the kids in bed then just watch something on Netflix because I’m tired.

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I Am Thankful

It being that Thanksgiving time of year, I feel I should do a post about what I’m thankful for. Let’s go with the first 10 things I think of.

1. My husband. So, I’ll admit, it hasn’t exactly been a terrific year for him. We added a new baby and with 3 young children I’m pretty maxed out. By the time we get them all in bed for the last time it’s 10pm or later and I’m just ready for bed. He’s so sweet, longsuffering, and patient. He tries hard to understand, but you know ladies, even I don’t understand myself half the time, I don’t see how he possibly has a chance! He’s still staying with it though and I’m really hoping that with the baby getting older I’ll be a better wife this coming year (hmm…let’s add this to the list of New Years resolutions…I’ll get back to this in a month)

2. My kids. Yes, they wear me out. Like last night I just wanted a little before dinner nap but the baby was cranky for 3 hours and just wanted to be held. Really, baby, can you not play with your mobile for 15 minutes! Poor little fella, I did enjoy snuggling him and snoozing on the couch though. Of course, those time when they come up and give you a kiss, hug, or just tell you that they love you make it all worth it!

3. The Holidays. I really love this time of year. We get Thanksgiving to review what we’re thankful for. Christmas to celebrate Christ’s birth and to spend lots of time with family. And then New Year’s so we can stay up till midnight watching some random show that we’ll then decide was the worst one we’d seen all year. Mainly, this is because my husband and I cannot agree on our holiday movie selection so we watch something non-holiday related and we always wish we’d just watched one of the holiday movies. (we’ve been doing this since the first year we were married, so why switch it up now)

4. Horrible Movies. Speaking of movies, if you want to see something laughably terrible try Santa Clause Conquers the Martins (I won this at a White Elephant Party) or Soylent Green. Either one of these will leave you wondering why you even bothered and give you something to laugh about for years to come.

5. Family. As in, lots and lots of family. I can always call one of my relatives when I need help or advice. I’m so grateful for a wonderful family and wonderful in-laws.

6. Sunshine. I love sunshine, and especially this time of year I wish for more of it. I’m a summer person so I could totally do without the cold weather and I’m grateful for any warm days I can get this time of year.

7. Music. I love my music. I love playing my instrument, watching my kids learn to play, and participating in my Church Band. It’s always a place of relaxation and refreshment for me.

8. Food. I love steak, eggs, veggies, fruits, fish, chicken (but not when I’m pregnant), licorice (I love those black licorice holiday or party canisters), milk chocolate, and coconut. I’m picky about my desserts, I don’t like my ice cream to touch my cake and I do not like it when someone dips cookies in my milk. I love to cook and I love teaching my children to cook. I’m looking forward to the day when they can do more than stir the ingredients that I put in the bowl, I can’t wait to see what they come up with (I may regret this statement in a few years…I hope they’re good cooks). Food is fuel for living and something to get everyone together for a good time. It’s so much more than just eating, it’s fun!

9. Creativity. I love trying new recipes, making things for the house, decorating (but not rearranging furniture), and anything else that strikes me as fun. Life would be so boring (and probably a lot less messy) if I never got the urge to create.

10. Friendships. What would I do without my friends? I have friends who are in the same place I am, several little children, no time for themselves, but still loving life. We can cry together, laugh together, or just sympathize. They know how it is and we give each other lots of grace because we know we all need it. I have friends who are way past me with kids all grown and they fondly remember these days (one day I’ll be there). I have friends who don’t have kids and I try not to give them too much information, seriously, I don’t want to scare them too much, they may want kids one of these days…Friendships keep me balanced, in touch with the world, and their kids are friends with my kids so we’re just perpetuating this friendship trend!

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Free Shaving Supplies

Click Here to go to Harry’s shaving cream launch page. The more friends you get to sign up (just submit your e-mail) the larger the item you will receive when they launch. Free shaving cream at 5 friends, free handle at 10 friend, free shaving kit at 25 friends, and free blades for a year at 50 friends.