friend – Chocolate 'N Children

Friendships, now that’s a topic my husband and I have spent lots of time discussing.

Here’s my thing with friendships. I tend to make them easily, and I have lots of friends. I love friends! But I have no really close friends. And when friends move to a different state or when I move, the friendships pretty much end and I start all over. I’m still in touch with some old friends through Facebook, but without Facebook we honestly would probably never hear from each other again.

I have friends I can call for help, friends I can set up playdates with, even friends who would watch my kids if I asked, but no friend that I would just call to vent to if I was having a bad day. No really close friend who knows all about me.

Before you start thinking that I have no one to talk to, I have 5 sisters. So, I can always call one of them. And I have several sister-in-laws that I can call. And even my own mom or my mother-in-law are great people to talk to. Do, I call and just vent, or cry? To be honest, I think I was a teenager last time I did. Not that my life is perfect. But who really wants to know about my horrible, awful day?

So, maybe it’s because I’m surrounded by so much family, I don’t actually need a separate close friend. Or maybe I’m just afraid of anyone getting too close. Honestly, it’s hard to say. Maybe it’s because I’m not good at sharing my feelings? Or maybe I’m just looking for something that doesn’t exist. Or, maybe I just don’t need a close friend right now?

Who knows? At this point, I’ve given up on trying for a really close friend and I’ve decided to just enjoy the friendships that I have.

I have friends in my homeschool group. We chat about life and all sorts of homeschool questions and topics. I have friends at church. Friends because my husband is friends with their spouse. And now that my husband is a small business owner I’m even starting to make some great friendships with some of the other small business owner’s spouses. Basically, I’m surrounded by plenty of friends. And I think that I should enjoy those friendships to the fullest and not worry about this elusive “best friend” that I’ll never be able to find or keep. That’s been my goal the past few years, and I’m quite happy with the friendships that I have.

I would say that my biggest challenge with friendships is I tend to keep my personal feelings hidden which makes it hard for others to get to really know me. So friendships take a long time to develop.

I want to know, what is your biggest challenge with friendships? Or, what is your best piece of friendship advice? Tell me in the comments below 🙂

This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. #BloggersTalkingAbout Friendship by Joanne, Friendships by Jenny, The Importance Of A Chosen Family by Nicole and Why You Need an Accountability Buddy by Alicia. If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers.

One thing I’ve never understood is why homeschooling gets a bad rap for socialization. I think for my generation (when I was a kid) this was a big concern for people. And I’m happy to see that as much less of a concern for my kids. I almost never get asked “do your kids have friends?”. And I remember my mom being asked that many, many times. Or maybe it’s just the “bubble” that I’m in. I know a LOT of homeschoolers these days!

Or maybe no one asks me about my kids socialization because my kids are doing all the talking. They like to talk. To everyone.

So, how do my kids make friends? Well, first of all I live in a city that I would describe as very homeschool friendly. You either homeschool, or many of your friends homeschool. Because there are so many homeschoolers, my kids have lots of friends (both homeschooled and non-homeschooled) and no one expected kids to act different based on where they’re going to school.

Church – We live in the Bible Belt and while religion is an integral part of our lives, Church is also a major socialization group in this area of the country. It’s totally normal and acceptable for people to attend one church and participate in activities (such as preschool, AWANA, women’s groups, sports, etc. in another church). And there are a lot of Churches that host a lot of different events. So, not only do my kids get to see their friends Sundays, they’re also meeting other kids during the week.

Homeschool Groups – And there are lots of these in my town. There are groups that meet just for parental support. Groups for kids classes. Educational groups. Facebook groups – used for forming your own sub-groups for activities and such. You name it, there’s probably a homeschool group for it. We’re in a Classical Conversations group so my kids see the same group of kids on a weekly basis.

My Friends – No surprises here, but my friends have kids around my kid’s ages. So, playdates, museum trips, etc. are a fun way to catch up and let the kids have fun.

Extras – And then there’s the extracurricular activities like dance and sports. It’s not uncommon to keep running into the same people at these activities. My kids have friends that they know from church, dance, and the museum class. We just keep running into them. It’s always fun to sit with someone that you already know.

My kids have lots of friends. And because I also know most of their friends parents, we get to hang out and have fun with friends way more than we would if my children were not homeschooled.