Setting Out

Numbers 9: 23a “At the command of the Lord they camped, and at the command of the Lord they set out…”

Numbers 9 is talking about the Israelites traveling in the wilderness and following the cloud. When it lifted they followed it, when it stopped they camped.

Now, I’m not a big fan of change. And one thing I’ve learned about life, is that there’s always change. Babies are born, children get older, my kitchen is clean one second and dirty the next, children learn to read, children learn to walk, people get married, etc. We’ve had lots of changes this year, and as we just passed our 8 year marriage anniversary I’ve been reflecting on all the changes in the past 8 years. Change is good, you don’t grow without it, but sometimes I just want to sit still, rest, and have no change. (maybe that’s why I like yoga so much)

Some changes are harder than others. Some changes I even welcome. My oldest is learning to read, it’s SO NICE having a child who can almost read in the house! My baby just started crawling, while I rejoice in this next stage in his development, I also mourn that I must now put the baby gate back up in front of our steps – I’ll be climbing over that thing for the next year or so. (actually, I’m really happy he’s crawling, now he can follow his sisters around without requiring my assistance). We’re outgrowing our house actually, really, I think we have outgrown it. We’re looking for a new, larger house. Which is so sad. I love my house. We bough a foreclosure that needed work and things are the way I want them, we re-did the bathrooms, kitchen, flooring, doors, and even the roof. If I wasn’t running out of room, I would be happy to stay here forever. We’ve begun the house hunting process and it’s no fun. My husband doesn’t like the price, I don’t like the layout, it’s in the wrong area of town, it’s ok but not great, and on and on. It’s a good thing we don’t have to move anytime soon as this house hunting may take a year or so at the rate we’re moving. Added to that, we need a new car. I have 3 kids stuffed in the back of an SUV, so far we’ve determined that we need a van, we haven’t agreed on how many seats, how much we can spend, or even when we can purchase one. (if you haven’t figured this out already my husband and I both take a long time to make decisions, he has to research a lot and I have to come around to being ok with the change). I really like my car – actually, I really like my husband’s car but it’s way too small for 3 kids in the back – if only BMW made a 10 passenger van!

With a child in school – I’m homeschooling btw – things are just busier, I’m more tied down to a schedule because we do school every day. I’m loving that she’s learning but it’s changed everything. I’m having to evaluate what activities I have time for and what, if anything I need to drop.

Since the birth of our 3rd child I just feel that things have been constantly in a state of movement. New baby, oldest starting school, need a new house, work is busy (I freelance from home), etc. It’s a bit overwhelming.

As my husband was reading the girl’s devotions the other night he read this verse and it just made me pause. “At the command of the Lord they camped, and at the command of the Lord they set out…” What if they had just decided to stay where they were, there’s water, we already pitched the tent, we’re comfortable here?  Then Sunday we sing this song called “Oceans“. I love the whole song, especially the first line “You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail”. “At the command of the Lord they set out” Even if they didn’t want to set out, they still set out. Just like Peter set out to walk on water when Jesus told him too. I probably would have looked at the water, and at the boat, and said, “nope, I think I’ll stay right here, I know the boat is safe”. But, what if once, I just quit evaluating the circumstances for myself and “set out”? I wonder what would happen?