Door to Door Salesman

So, I had this door to door salesman drop by the other day. Now, construction companies in our area must really need some new customers because this is the the 3rd salesman this week trying to sell me something for my house. I thought once we got the new gutters up they might leave us alone, but no, he wanted to know how often we get them cleaned…

Around my house, we get a lot of packages. So, when the doorbell rang, the girls answered the door, hoping for a box. It’s about 40 out and there’s one child dressed and the other is in her swimsuit (I’m still trying to convince her that this time of year, even around the house a swimsuit is a bit chilly). I hear someone ask the girls if their mommy is home. My oldest replies that I am home and that I am working on my computer. (I need to have a talk with her about offering too much information) I arrive at the door with the baby.

He starts with looking at me kind of funny and says “are you the homeowner?”. (At which point I should have said, “no, I’m the babysitter”) but I didn’t. Of course I’m the homeowner. Do I really look too young to own a house? Every single salesman asks me that. It must be on their script, but still, he could have asked the question as if he assumed I was and just wanted to verify. “yes, I’m the homeowner”.

Next question, so, how often do you clean your gutters? Me, oh, we just had them done a month ago and haven’t gotten the gutter guards up yet. He continues to survey the outside of my house, and is clearly confused by my small child in a swimsuit who keeps hopping inside and then outside the front door. I think he was trying to pick something to ask me about doing on my home. Siding and windows is about all that’s left to do outside so his choices were slim.

He next question had to be from his script…or he forgot his script because he seems nervous like he had never done this before. Really, buddy, you’re the third person this month, you’re probably not going to get a very good response in this neighborhood. “So, what times are you home?” Now, I really hate questions like this, if I was looking to rob a neighborhood, what better way than to send around a salesman and find out when people are not home. I’m sure I’m thinking much too sophisticated for any robber that would bother with the homes in my neighborhood. But you never know. My reply, “I’m in and out pretty much every day”. Yes, that was vague, but I’m definitely NOT giving my schedule to some random salesperson at my front door. And, why does he need to know my schedule?

Next question, “is there a man of the house?”, with a hopeful glance at the door, hoping that if there is the man is home and he can do his full sales pitch right then. Really, if you can’t just leave me a flyer or give me a quick quote, I’ve got 3 kids, I do not have time for an hour long demonstration. Not that the salesman had anything more than a few papers and a clipboard. I guess I nodded or he assumed there was because I didn’t get to answer before he asked “what’s his schedule, when is he home?”.

Now, at this point I’m a little irritated. I really don’t see why my husband has to be home unless you’re trying to sell me on something right this very second. Even if he was, if we wanted something done, we would get a few quotes and discuss it before making a decision. Repeat, I do not have time for a lengthy demonstration. Also, I don’t give out his schedule to complete strangers at my front door. So, I defaulted to my get rid of the annoying home repair salesman response. “Well, I have a good friend who’s a contractor and he does all my work, so I’ll give hime a call if I need anything done”

The salesman basically nodded and walked off.

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